Catch Me if You Can
by wingedflower
Summary: Hunk wanted to make a pie and Lance wanted to be a good friend. What could possibly go wrong? (Lance & Hunk bromance)


"This pie better taste like heaven," Lance called in a strained voice, hugging the trunk with all his limbs like a sloth.

"I promise you it will," Hunk called back from his position on the ground. "Thank you so much for doing this, Lance. You're, like, the best friend ever."

"I know, I'm pretty awesome," Lance tried to muster some of his usual bravado, but it came out a bit lame, considering the fact that one of his cheeks was pressed hard against a tree trunk. "Okay, let me just find something to hold on to so I can free my other arm." He felt blindly around the trunk with his right hand until he found a bump large enough to wrap his fingers around. He squinted his eyes shut, drew a sharp breath, and slowly released his left arm from its grip around the trunk.

Hunk whimpered, hands crumpling the bag he was holding anxiously. Merely watching Lance hanging from the top of a nearly forty-feet tall tree made his stomach lurch, but he was determined to keep it all inside until Lance was back on solid ground with him. After all, it was all Hunk's idea from the start.

They have landed on this planet earlier this morning. It seemed uninhabited save for a few dozen animal species, but its flora was quite rich according to the castle's scans - making it the perfect place to take a small, much-needed break of saving the universe. Everyone scattered to their different activities soon enough: Coran went to collect mineral samples for one of his numerous researches; Shiro and Keith went to practice rock-climbing on a cliff they spotted from distance, because obviously there was no better way to spend their short vacation than training some more; Allura, who was tired from flying the castle but didn't want to be cooped up for too long, settled on sunbathing in a patch of grass not far from the castle; and Pidge stayed in the castle, claiming that all these flowers were just too much for her allergies (although she didn't seem particularly concerned about the chance to spend some quality time with her laptop).

Hunk, of course, was eager to explore the place in hopes of gathering as much spices and ingredients for his cooking as he could find. But he didn't want to go alone, so he talked Lance into going with him - not only because the blue paladin was the only one available, but mostly because he was usually the easiest to convince.

"Oh man, but I wanted to go sunbathing with Allura!" Lance complained. "I mean, she's probably going to were something a lot more _minimal_ than her usual gown..." he added with a dreamy smile.

Hunk rolled his eyes. "You can join her later, pervert. And I can't go by myself! I mean, who knows what we're going to find in this forest? We may find supplies that will last us for months, and in that case, there's no way I'll be able to carry it all by myself. Come on!" he called cheerfully. "It'll be an adventure, just the two of us! Like the good ol' days at the Garrison!"

Lance scrunched his nose. "You _never_ wanted to go on adventures at the Garrison. You were always too scared of getting caught."

Hunk sent Lance his most appealing smile, even though the latter definitely had a point. "Please?" he asked in a high, sweet voice.

Lance grunted. " _Fine._ You know I can never say no to that face. It's like kicking a puppy."

"That's the spirit!" Hunk locked one arm around Lance's neck and ruffled his hair with the other, then dragged his half-protesting half-laughing friend into the forest.

They had quite a pleasant time, roaming lazily through the thick of the forest. The flora of this planet was indeed spectacular - trees and bushes and flowers in all the shapes and colors one could possibly imagine. And Hunk was right - a variety of edible plants grew here on every corner. Each of them had brought a large, empty bag with him, and soon both bags were full of fruit, leaves, beans and other stuff they didn't even know _what_ they were, but Hunk's gut told him they would make a delicious meal. And when it came to food, Hunk's gut was _never_ wrong.

"Man, it's like going to the carnival," Hunk squeaked as he picked a handful of orange, fluffy-looking mushrooms (kind of like Coran's mustache) off the ground and shoved it into his bag.

"Yeah, this is pretty awesome!" Lance agreed, grinning from ear to ear. "We're so going to have a feast later!"

"So I take it you enjoy our little adventure after all?" Hunk asked teasingly.

"Absolutely." Lance hefted his bag on his shoulder, wiping sweat off his forehead with his free hand. "I wish we'd meet some cute alien girls on the way though..."

"Yeah, so they can ditch you like Nyma did."

"That was _one time!_ "

"It doesn't change the fact that it happened - hey, what's that?" Hunk noticed a large, bright-purple fruit lying on the ground a few feet ahead of them. He hurried forward and picked it up, turning it in his hand. It had a pear-like shape, only a lot bigger, and had a soft stubble all over its surface.

"A space peach-eggplant?" Lance suggested. "This thing sure looks funky."

Hunk wasted no time bringing the fruit to his mouth. He sniffed it carefully, ran his tongue around the stubble, then took a small bite.

His mouth filled with fireworks and his eyes filled with tears and he wanted to jump in his place and dance and fly and hug his friend, all at the same time.

" _Lance_ ," he panted. "This... this is the stuff dreams are made of. Remember how I told you that if I ever got stranded on a planet and had to eat one food for the rest of my life I'd choose burrito? Well, I just changed my mind. I can eat _this_ thing for the rest of my life _and_ the afterlife."

Lance's eyes widened. "Whoa, let me try." He snatched the fruit from Hunk's hand and took a large bite. The high-pitched sound that escaped his lips a second later said everything.

"We _have_ to get more of these! As much as we can carry!" Lance turned his head from side to side frantically. "Where did it come from?! Oh heavenly peach-eggplant thingy, come to Lancey-Lance, don't be shy..."

Hunk raised his head to the sky and froze in his place. "Um," he gulped and pointed upwards with a shaky finger. "I think we might have a problem."

A tree full of identical purple fruit rose just above their heads. There were three small details that needed to be accounted for, though: first, the tree was about forty feet tall; second, it had no branches, only small bumps and bulges here and there; and third, the same purple fruit they desired so much grew right at the very top of it, under a think foliage of blue leaves.

Lance's jaw dropped. "Oh my quiznak."

Hunk quickly scouted their surroundings, but there was no more fruit lying around on the ground, and this tree seemed to be one of its kind in this area. If they chose to carry on there was a good chance they would be walking for hours without seeing another tree like that - if they even got to see one. He let out a frustrated moan.

"Can't we use our lions to take this tree down?" Lance asked hopefully.

"What?! We can't just run around and _take trees down_ , Lance, we're guests on this planet!" Hunk called, horrified at the idea.

Lance shrugged. "I guess there is no other choice then." And before Hunk could say anything, he dropped his bag, jogged ahead and wrapped his arms and legs around the tree.

Hunk's tilted his head to the side. "Um, what exactly are you doing?"

"Well, if we can't bring the fruit to us, then we should come to the fruit ourselves!" Lance called over his shoulder, already starting to pull himself up with surprising speed.

Now it was Hunk's jaw's turn to drop. "Are you _insane?!_ " he screeched. "You can't climb all the way up there, you'll fall and break all your bones!"

"No I won't, because I've got you to catch me," Lance said, grunting with effort but managing to pull himself higher nonetheless. His long and lanky limbs seemed to come in handy in this situation - definitely more than Hunk's heavy and bulky figure.

Hunk was so touched by Lance's statement that he had to clear his throat before speaking up again. "Dude, when we get back to the castle you're going to get the first slice of the pie I'm going to make from this babies."

"You're going to make a _pie?!_ Hunk, you beautiful genius!" Lance yelled in excitement. He has already climbed about a third of the tree, but with the promise of a future pie he picked up his pace, and all Hunk could do was watch in a mixture of anxiety and awe. Man, Lance could _climb._ Hunk made a mental note to tell Shiro about it later - this could come in handy in future missions.

Lance made it to the top of the tree in record time, wooing triumphantly when his head brushed the bunch of purple fruit. "Alright Hunk, hold your bag open and I'll just toss them down - oh for quiznak's sake that's really high." The smile froze on his face as he bowed his head to look down at Hunk, his eyes widening in terror.

"You alright up there, buddy?" Hunk called.

"Um - " Lance sucked in a breath and turned his head back until his face was pressed against the tree trunk. "I - I don't know. I think I'm starting to have second thoughts. And maybe a panic attack too?"

Hunk's shoulders dropped. Now was _not_ the time for Lance to have fear of heights. "Oh Lance, it's okay," he tried to sooth, even though he was having a small panic attack himself at the moment. "Come on, you've already made it all the way up!"

"Yes but I just realized that if I want to pick up the fruit I need to use at least one hand and I don't want to because I then I'll lose my grip on the trunk and fall down and die and won't get to have any pie and you guys will have to find a new pilot for Blue," Lance said it all in one breath, his voice becoming higher and wheezier with each word.

"None of this is going to happen," Hunk said, heart pounding in his chest. "You're going to be fine! Besides, you've got me to catch you in case you fall, remember?" he smiled reassuringly, glad that Lance was so far above so he could not see just how distressed his smile must have looked like.

Lance laughed, albeit hysterically. "You're the best bro ever, Hunk. I'm so lucky to have you."

"Aw, I love you too, bro."

"This pie better taste like heaven."

"I promise you it will."

So here they were, Hunk standing on the ground and holding his bag forward expectantly, while Lance finally managed to free one hand and wrap it around a peach-eggplant. "Okay, there's no way I'm looking down again, so I'm just going to drop it in the general direction I think you're at," he called.

"Go for it," Hunk encouraged.

Lance separated the peach-eggplant from the treetop with a quick pull and tossed it down at Hunk, who was already ready with his bag open wide. He barely had to move at all to catch it. "Got it!" He called. "You're doing great, buddy, just keep them coming in this direction."

They kept going like this for another minute or too, and Hunk watched with delight as the bag gradually filled with the purple, delicious fruit. "I think I'm going to make two pies," he announced. "Or maybe just one huge pie for all of us... what do you say, Lance?"

"A huge pie sounds just like the - _AHHHH!_ " Lance suddenly screamed and Hunk's head shot up at once. His eyes widened in horror as he caught the sight of a... well, he assumed _bird_ was the most appropriate word to described it, even though no bird he has ever seen in his life had four wings and three eyes and was about the size of a baby elephant.

The creature was sitting on the tree top right above Lance, its three yellow eyes glaring at him in fury. It opened its enormous beak - which looked more like a crocodile's jaw - and released a horrible, deafening shriek, which caused Hunk to drop his bag to the ground so he could cover his ears with his hands.

"What _is_ this thing?!" he cried out.

"I don't know, but it doesn't seem too happy about having me as its guest!" Lance called back, pure fear evident in his voice.

"Maybe you accidently hit its nest or something?" Hunk suggested, though he doubted this would be of any use to Lance right now.

"I didn't see any nest!" Lance screamed, tightening his grip around the trunk with all his might. "This bird's probably just an asshole who doesn't like to share! Back off, you freak, we _earned_ this pie!"

As if realizing the insult, the bird shrieked again, waving all of its four wings and making the tree top shake dangerously. Lance yelped as his body slid a few inches down, trying desperately not to lose his grip.

"Oh man this is bad this is bad this is _really_ bad," Hunk murmured feverishly as he ran back and forth around the tree with flailing arms. "Please don't fall down, _please_ don't fall down..."

Whatever gods were responsible for this planet seemed to hate him in particular today, because the next time he raised his gaze he saw a blurry blue-and-white figure diving right at him with a terrifying speed.

Now, Hunk wasn't exactly the fastest guy in their group, but his instincts worked pretty well when he was panicked enough. He dropped the bag and lunged forward just in time for Lance to fall right into them - although the impact of the fall was powerful enough to send Hunk tumbling down, causing Lance's head to collide with the ground with a loud _thunk_.

"Lance?!" Hunk cried, fighting the urge to shake Lance awake - he didn't want to injure him further, especially if he had a head injury. He cursed himself for not making Lance put his helmet on when he started climbing (they both had took their helmets off at some point as the walk warmed them up). "Lance, are you with me? Oh, please say something, I _really_ need to hear you're okay..." But Lance remained silent and limp, dead weight in Hunk's arms.

Hunk felt his entire body grow weak and it suddenly became very hard for him to breath. "Oh my god, I killed Lance," he whispered to no one in particular. "Holy shit, _holy shit,_ what the hell am I supposed to tell the others?.."

"Hunk..." a faint voice was heard from afar, but Hunk ignored it, too absorbed in his panic. "Crap, forget about the others - what am I going to tell his _mom_? She's going to _kill_ me for killing her son, she can be really scary when she's mad... oh well, I guess I'm banned from Earth for life... maybe I should go live on the Balmera with Shay, I wonder if she'll have me after I killed my best friend..."

"Hunk, you're giving me a headache," the same voice from before was heard, this time a bit more persistent. Hunk growled as his rambling was interrupted.

"Shut up Lance, I'm trying to mourn you here - _Lance!_ " Hunk nearly dropped Lance as he realized his friend was alive and awake and staring at him with slightly unfocused eyes. "You're _alive!_ "

"Yeah..." Lance's lips curled to a crooked smile. "Nice catch, man."

Hunk's eyes welled up and he wanted nothing more than launch himself at Lance and squeeze him in a bone-crashing hug, but caught himself at the last second, realizing that first he had to check that said bones were all in their right place. "Are you hurt anywhere?" he demanded.

Lance wrinkled his forehead thoughtfully. "Hmm, I don't think so..." he carefully moved his arms and legs around, flexing his fingers and ankles. "Nothing feels particularly broken... maybe a bit sore... the armor must have helped, too." He tried to raise his head from the ground, but winced and lowered it back instantly, squinting his eyes shut. "My head hurts pretty bad though," he wheezed.

Hunk cringed. "It hit the ground pretty hard, so that makes sense. Sorry about that," he apologized.

"Nah," Lance said faintly. "If it wasn't for you I'd probably be dead on the spot. Thanks, man. I knew I could count on you."

"No, this was all my fault. I'm the one who wanted to go to this stupid forest," Hunk said miserably, his lower lip quivering.

"Hey, stop that! I wanted to get this fruit as much as you did, and it's not your fault that I was dumb enough to try and climb all the way up there. So don't you dare apologize, especially not after you saved my life."

Hunk sent him a wet smile. "Well... okay. I'm just glad you're alive."

"Me too."

"And we still have enough fruit to make that pie, so once we fix your head you're going to get, like, the biggest slice ever."

"Sounds amazing," Lance said with glassy eyes - although Hunk wasn't entirely sure whether he was fantasizing on the pie or just badly concussed. Probably the latter. They really needed to get back to the castle.

Just as the thought passed through his mind they heard a horrible, screeching sound behind them. Hunk flinched and turned around in time to see the bird-creature diving towards the ground, locking its claws around the abandoned bag of fruit and flying away, cackling triumphantly all the way up.

Hunk simply stared at the empty spot where the bag was lying moments ago.

"I officially hate this planet," he said flatly.

Lance suddenly giggled, and Hunk looked back at him in fury. "What's so funny?! That jerk just took our pie away!"

"Your _head_ looks like a pie..." Lance snorted, and only then Hunk realized how uneven his pupils were.

Hunk sighed, shoulders dropping in defeat. "Come on, let's get you into a pod."

* * *

Once Hunk made sure Lance was safe and secure inside a cryopod (Coran assured him he wouldn't be there for more than an hour; his concussion wasn't that bad) he dragged his feet across the infirmary, knowing he was going to head straight to the kitchen. Today's events completely wore him off, and he was in a desperate need for a bowl of food goo to calm his nerves and his stomach. Okay, maybe more than one bowl.

He was almost at the exit when he ran into Keith and Shiro, who apparently had come back from their own adventure.

"Oh, hi Hunk. Is Lance alright?" Shiro asked, peeking worriedly over Hunk's shoulder at the line of pods. "We heard that he hit his head... how did this happen?"

"Nevermind," Hunk said tiredly, shoulders slumped. "He's going to be fine in an hour. Everything's fine." His eyes suddenly lit up as he caught the sight of what the other two paladins were holding. Each of them had a handful of the exact purple, fuzzy fruit from the forest.

"Where did you get those?" Hunk asked sharply.

"What, these things?" Shiro looked down at the bundle in his arms. "Oh, we found a tree full of them near the cliff we were climbing... they were growing just next to the top of the cliff, so once we got there it was pretty easy to pick them up. We don't know what those things are exactly, but we figured you'd probably know what to do with them - um, Hunk?"

Hunk didn't say a word as he reached out and took all the fruit from Shiro's arms, then walked to Keith and did the same. He cradled them in his arms gently as if they were an infant, then exited the room in silence, his mouth locked in a thin line and his eyes moist.

Shiro and Keith watched the door in confusion.

"Was he crying?" Keith asked.

Shiro only shrugged.

They pie, by the way, was delicious - even though no one really understood why Lance nearly burst into tears when Hunk served him a slice (the first and biggest slice, just like he promised).


End file.
